


Alphys and the Abyss

by Omoni



Series: Random Undertale Stories and Drabbles [26]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphynecentric, Alphys/Undyne-centric, Death by grief, F/F, Losing your true love, No Mercy Route, Sometimes there are no happy endings, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicide, mood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 21:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19385428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omoni/pseuds/Omoni
Summary: Alphys had only a handful of happiness when Frisk fell down and destroyed her universe. In her final moments, she stands at the abyss and remembers the many times she was drawn here, the reasons why, and why she was always drawn back. Each time, she had reason to turn away.Now, all of those reasons were dead, and she is alone.In a world where her heart is smashed to pieces, she at least has this one common refuge. Is it no wonder she makes it her last?Pure depression. No happy ending. Everyone dies/ No Mercy ending.





	Alphys and the Abyss

Alphys stood between two waterfalls.

There had been several times she'd found herself here, upon these same tiles.

This was not her first time, but it was her last.

* * *

The first was when she'd finished school, and couldn't find work. Too ashamed to ask anyone for help, she took to the dump for survival, looking for anything to stay alive.

But when she was finally kicked out of her apartment in New Home for lack of rent, she found herself not in the dump, but on the tiles. She had worked so hard to become a doctor, used up all of her money – including her savings and inheritance from her mother.

Her stomach growled, painful enough for her to hunch over and flinch, then crouch, trembling.

 _All I have to do is fall forward,_ she thought suddenly. _Just somersault over the falls, open my mouth to taste it, let it wash me away forever…_

_Then, there would be no rent to pay, no need for food or shelter, no need for personal companionship._

_No fear. No sadness._

_No longing or betrayal._

_No abuse or humiliation._

_No more pain…_

That was the thought that opened her eyes, her vision dark from starvation and lack of sleep. She was bound to drop dead any day, now.

_Might as well make it poetic…_

Besides, who would care? Her only friends had been in youth, and they lived near the Core. The few times she'd seen them on her way to the city, she would smile and wave, and they would smirk and wave back – but in a way that was clearly sarcastic.

They wouldn't care.

Alphys sighed, then slowly rose to her feet. She nearly fainted, the blood rushing to her feet despite the lack of speed, but she did it.

“Okay,” she thought.

The moment she was about to jump, however, she was stopped – by a ghost.

She just didn't know it.

Her phone chimed, and she frowned, moving a step back to fish it out of her pocket and flip it open, checking it – and found a text message.

_‘Hello, is this the right number for the human culture club?’_

Alphys stared at the screen, stunned. She’d forgotten all about that.

In her many dumpster-dives, she'd found VHS tapes and DVDs, some live-action with humans, most of cartoons with semi-humans. When she'd had a home, she'd spent her spare time watching them, and wondered if anyone else knew about any of it. Those tapes had kept her sane during aimless days, and she’d ended up boxing them all up and putting them in a trolley she'd rigged up with spare parts from the trash.

She'd left it on dry land before she went into the water, of course. She didn't know that that had caught the attention of someone – the same someone texting her, now, who'd done the same for much longer than she...

She took a few more steps back, then texted back tentatively, acknowledging this but saying that it was cancelled due to apathy. She expected no answer, but instead got one right away.

_‘Please! Don't shut it down, yet, I have so much to say! Please?’_

Alphys was confused – but she texted back.

And soon, an hour later, she raised her head from her phone and found herself as far from the edge as possible.

She didn't want to, anymore.

So that time, she walked away, and in doing so, ended up securing her future.

It would take time, but eventually, Alphys would be drawn back here a second time, thanks to that new future.

* * *

Thus, mere years later, Alphys found herself back in the exact same spot as before. She was sobbing, her head in her hands, her eyes closed and full of images of nightmares, living nightmares, nightmares she'd created…

_Oh god, what have I done?_

_I can't tell anyone. I can't do anything._

_I've ruined them all._

_I need to die!_

She stood up, quickly, her eyes snapping open. Though they were still fogged up with the heat of her agony, she knew where to walk.

But then, she heard someone shouting.

 _No!_ she thought, _I can't have witnesses! I can't stop, but if I do it, I risk someone else getting hurt if they try to stop—_

“Doctor Alphys?”

Her blood froze, and quickly, she looked up, hoping her tears would be mistaken for sweat or water – and saw the Captain of the Royal Guard staring at her from behind her helmet.

She didn't move, terrified. She knew who Undyne was – how could she not? She’d seen her often enough, making her rounds, breaking up fights, dragging drunken or high monsters to the cells overnight to sober up and go home…

Instead, she was right here.

She reached up and did something that Alphys had never seen her do before: she took off her helmet.

When her arms lowered and their eyes met, Undyne… _lit up_. She lit right up, to the point of rosy cheeks, and Alphys stared up at her in return, wondering how such a look could exist when directed at herself…

“It _is_ you! I knew it! I've been dying to run into you, you have _no_ idea!” Undyne went on, slapping a metal hand down upon Alphys's shoulder. “What are you up to, here? I was looking for stuff. Were you?”

Alphys's entire mouth went dry, and she couldn't speak. She swallowed but only made it worse. Her eyes darted to the waterfall going down, and Undyne followed, still looking jovial.

“Oh! Studying the abyss?” Undyne offered, still grinning and showing sharp yellow teeth – a gorgeous smile, as far as Alphys was concerned, now that she'd finally seen it…

All of Undyne's face was gorgeous to her, really. Especially when she smiled.

Why would she look at _Alphys_ that way, though?

Alphys had taken too long to answer, and when she'd concluded her assessment of Undyne's beauty, she'd gone pale. It alarmed Undyne, who seemed to look closer, and…

Suddenly, the smile vanished, and the fingers digging into Alphys's shoulders gripped harder. Her eye narrowed, and she looked at the other waterfall, the endless one, for a moment, before looking back at Alphys.

Alphys blinked.

There was no way Undyne was looking at her like _that_.

But she _was_. She _was_ staring at Alphys with _concern_. _Actual concern._

One that grew fearful as the silence stretched between them.

“Doctor, what _are_ you doing here?” Undyne repeated, only this time, her voice was low – but as sharp as her teeth looked. “You're not thinking of doing something _stupid_ , are you?”

_Was it stupid? To give up, when your life was over? To die, when you know your life has lost its meaning forever, now?_

What reasons could Alphys possibly have to stay?

Suddenly, Undyne shook her, and she stumbled.

“Well?  _Were you?!”_ Undyne snapped, her eye searching both of Alphys's, this time not following when she again tried not to look at the abyss – and did it, anyway. _“Hey! Answer me!"_

Alphys lowered her head and shut her eyes, then held her hands up. “Yes,” she confessed. “Arrest me.”

She was serious.

Even Undyne knew, she could tell: she wanted to be arrested. She wanted to be put in jail for her crimes. She wanted to be punished for them.

She wanted to die for them.

“Why?” Undyne demanded, not moving to even try to.

 _“Please,”_ Alphys answered, her eyes still closed.

There was a small silence between them, before she suddenly felt strong metal hands take hold of her own – and lower them down. When Alphys let hers drop, Undyne let her own drop, too.

“I have a better idea,” Undyne said slowly, carefully. Her eye was bright, then, with something Alphys didn't understand until it was far too late. “Instead of doing...  _that_ , let's talk about _this_.”

“This?” Alphys echoed, shaking her head.

The last thing she wanted was to explain why she wanted to die...

“The abyss,” was Undyne's answer. “What the hell _is_ it? I've never understood it! Where does it all come from?!”

“The surface,” Alphys answered.

 _“Duh!”_ Undyne sighed, sounding normal, again – less scary, and less concerned. “Of course it does, but _how? Why?”_

Alphys hesitated. “I have a lot of theories. You don't want to hear them. They're boring.” She flinched; she'd stammered on almost every word she said, but it was too late to go back and correct herself.

Undyne didn't seem to notice, however. It made Alphys understand that Undyne must be a very caring person, when really, she later found out, it _was_ about care, yes – but also _affection_.

“Okay, well,” Alphys tried, and Undyne looked at her intently, her ears perking up. “I think…”

She went on for hours, and Undyne hung on every word, stopping her only to ask questions, answer her phone _(‘Not now, old man? Sorry, please')_ , or to add her own ideas. They were really good ideas, too, and Alphys was amazed – and instantly smitten.

Undyne was _not_ a dumb jock, after all. She _was_ capable of seeing Alphys.

And indeed, Undyne had seen her.

In the same moment, without either one knowing it, they'd fallen for each other.

But Alphys found out way too late.

* * *

_‘Meet me there. Hurry.’_

Alphys saw that it was from Undyne's number, and she knew where ‘there' was: the dump. They always met at the dump to hang out. Always.

But when she rounded the corner, she saw that Undyne was standing at the tiles, in complete armour with her helmet placed beside her feet. She stood rod-straight, her expression grim.

Her ear twitched, and she turned and saw Alphys appear from the dump river, and she smiled. She jumped down off the tiles and into the water, then met Alphys halfway, making her stop.

Undyne did not. Instead, she stood in front of Alphys and looked into her face.

Alphys looked up, trembling. Undyne was, too.

By now, the news had spread: the human was on its way, and had already killed Papyrus, not to mention all of Undyne's Snowdin Guards – people she'd loved.

“Undyne,” Alphys murmured, her eyes filling with tears. She reached out, and Undyne took her hands, holding them tight.

Alphys could see it in her friend's eye: Undyne had every intention of fighting the human, despite how powerful it was proving to be. 

Alphys saw it and wanted to rage against it, against _Undyne_. She started breathing strangely, like she was holding in a scream with each inhale, and her exhale was choked. She didn't feel the tears streaking down her cheeks.

“D-don't go,” she begged.

By now, she didn't care if Undyne knew her secrets. She didn't care if it meant Undyne hated her – she did not – if it that meant Undyne was safe.

Undyne bit her lip, her eye widening with shock, so Alphys hurried on, moving closer, gripping those hands harder.

“Please, Undyne! _Please! Don't fight it!_ It's killed so many of us, people who are _strong_! It _can't_ be beaten! We have to run and hide, Undyne! _Please!”_

Undyne swallowed hard. “It'll kill Asgore,” she whispered, her eye still wide. “It'll kill _Dad_ , and destroy the world…”

“Then if we're destined to die, _die with me!”_ Alphys suddenly blurted out.

Undyne reeled back – but Alphys held her up by her hands. She expected Undyne to let go, but instead, she held _tighter_.

Then, her eye filled with tears, and she dropped to her knees before Alphys, latching onto her, holding her close, burying her face into Alphys's neck – before she cried.

Alphys sobbed, too, unable to hold back – to stop holding _Undyne_ back – and buried her own face into Undyne's hair, inhaling her scent and desperately memorising it, her heart starting to break apart…

“Run away with me,” Alphys finally pleaded. “Survive with me, Undyne. I need you. _I need you!”_

“No…” Undyne whispered, before raising her head.

Her hands went to Alphys's cheeks before she could speak, and Alphys fell silent, the gesture so intimate that her eyes simply refilled with more tears.

“Alphy…” she continued, and again, Alphys sobbed, that name so rarely used – and used only during times of great affection. “ _I have to try._ If I can kill them, or wound them enough to make them easier to kill by someone else, then I _have_ to! It's my _job_! I owe it to them! I owe it to _Papyrus!”_

“Undyne, I don't think you'll make it!” Alphys admitted, her voice a mess of stammering woe, but she knew Undyne understood. “It's so strong, its power reminds me of--!”

Undyne silenced her, then, in the one and only way that would have worked in such a scenario.

Undyne kissed Alphys's lips.

Alphys shut her eyes and kissed back, pushing herself deeper into Undyne's arms, finding herself pulled nearer, and Undyne moaned, both with pain and passion, as Alphys sobbed between breaths, her tears mingling with Undyne's, like a bittersweet shower…

Alphys tried, then. She tried to keep Undyne in her arms. She dug her heels in, buried her claws as deeply between the joints of that armour, around Undyne's waist, as she could, hoping to ruin them and make Undyne's venture impossible…

Instead, Undyne held her face, kissing deeper and deeper, her own breaths strained and painful...

Neither could stop.

Neither wanted to.

Neither wanted _any_ of this.

But then, Undyne gasped out, “ _This_ is why I said no, I never wanted to _abandon_ you like this, I never wanted to _hurt_ you like this--,”

“Please, Undyne,” Alphys begged, before kissing her, again. To her shock, Undyne remained, and long enough to actually give Alphys hope, again.

But again, Undyne slowed, then pulled back, even as Alphys begged her to stay. Instead, she silenced Alphys with a finger to her lips, her smile small and sad.

“Alphy. I'm gonna need you to be strong, okay?” she said.

Alphys shook her head. She didn't want to hear this. If she ignored it, she could pretend it wasn't happening, that Undyne _wasn't_ about to leave her, that her life _wasn't_ about to end once Undyne left…

But of course, Alphys listened to her, and obeyed.

So when Undyne told her to bring everyone to the True Lab – she knew the truth of it, by now – Alphys didn't react, because it didn't matter, anymore. She nodded through her agony, listened when her heart screamed stop, understood when her soul refused to accept that this was happening…

“Promise me,” Undyne concluded, her hands upon Alphys's cheeks, still kneeling in the mud.

Alphys stared at her. “Stay with me,” she pleaded, instead.

Pathetic, she knew.

But she had to keep trying…

“Alphy, _please_ , I need _you_ to promise _me_ , and I need you to be brave for me. I need you to be who I know you already are, but you refuse to be.”

Alphys stared at her, stunned into shaking her head, again, but Undyne nodded, her eye blazing with determination.

 _“I love you,”_ Undyne concluded. She darted in, about to kiss Alphys, but instead, kissed her palm.

She pulled away and saw it covering Alphys's mouth and looked hurt, until Alphys took hold of Undyne's face and stared into it, her eyes tracing every line, curve, cut, and scar…

“Come home to me, then!” Alphys commanded, her voice breaking. “Come home, to the one who loves you, too!”

Undyne looked thunderstuck, as though wishing for such an answer but never expecting it. She bit her lip, then kissed Alphys's, and this time, Alphys kissed deeper, harder, once again trying to make her stay…

…but she could not. 

Alphys pulled away, and without another word – What more could be said? – Undyne grabbed her helmet, put it on, and ran back the other way, not once looking back.

And Alphys went the other way, forcing herself to do the very same.

* * *

But now, she was back.

But now, there was nothing holding her back.

Mettaton was dead.

Asgore was dead.

sans was dead.

_Undyne is…_

Alphys dropped to her knees, cowering down with her head in her arms, like she had the very first time she'd found herself here.

Finally, she _screamed_.

It was wordless, but it was loud.

It surprised her, distantly, but she didn't stop. She knew it wasn't even close to loud enough.

She knew she could scream her throat to shreds and it would never be loud enough.

Because the one who should have heard it was dead.

_Undyne._

_Undyne is dead…_

Alphys never really had friends growing up, something that went well into her late twenties. She had friends on Undernet, people she connected with and considered friends, albeit probably too much, if one went by how fast those ‘friends' abandoned her. It was always the same: she grew close to someone, to the point of almost meeting them in person, but if she so much as gave a _hint_ that she had anything but happiness and compliments and support for her ‘friends', they left her.

_They were probably dead, now, too..._

Nobody was friends with Alphys to be _seen_ with her.

Everyone knew she was an embarrassment, a loser, a complete spaz that everyone always hates and yet even they never even know why…

That was Alphys.

That had always been Alphys.

Until Undyne.

True, she knew both Mettaton and Asgore first, and had crushed on Asgore first and far longer...

But once she met Undyne...

_With Undyne…_

_Undyne was my first real friend,_ she realised, her heart shattering with her next scream _. She was the one who never abandoned me._

 _Hell, she_ met _me at my very worst, and she stayed. She saw_ worse _than that, and she still liked me._ _She was never ashamed of me; instead, she seemed to almost_ brag _that she knew me, as if it were something of an accomplishment._

_I always thought it was to get answers to rumours._

_I was so wrong._

And through Undyne, Alphys even met Papyrus, and - though Undyne hadn't known it - met sans for the first time: online. He contacted her through Papyrus, and she never understood why. He only contacted her to ask about physics, and she'd grown to accept that.

Undyne was the only monster in the world who saw Alphys equally: as a _person_.

Undyne was the only one who dried Alphys's tears, whom _she_ allowed to dry her own tears, and that meant everything to Alphys.

It was no wonder that she fell in love so deeply.

_And Undyne had loved me, too._

That was what kept her screaming, kept her kneeling in the muddy water.

_She loved me, and hadn't wanted to tell me, lest her death hurt me…_

_But that would have happened, regardless…_

_Instead… instead, we never even had a chance…_

The world would be over soon, she knew. She, like the rest of the few survivors, could feel the last of their world teetering into hell, and time was running out.

Alphys didn't want to give the human the satisfaction of killing her, too, even if it never even knew it.

She went silent.

Beneath her, the earth trembled, and she knew Asgore had finally died.

Slowly, she pushed herself up onto her knees, then to her feet, reflexively digging her toeclaws and heels in – before stopping, instead letting them be loose.

She smoothed her soaking coat down, coughed between bitter, lung-wrenching sobs, before she hugged herself and closed her eyes, shivering.

_I love you, Undyne. I hope I get to see you as soon as I’m dust._

And with that final hope, Alphys jumped from the tiles, and let herself drop feet-first into the falls.

Cold smashed into her, like a slap, leaving her gasping from pain and shock.

She didn't fight back. She opened her arms and eyes, keeping only her mouth closed, and looked up, wanting one last look of the world before she became mud at the bottom of this waterfall.

At first, all she saw was water: sludge water, muddy water, cloudy water...

But soon, it was water that was slowly cleaning up the longer she drowned within it, her body feeling heavy and cold, filled with water akin to lead, itself. It was this clear stuff that she swallowed with gusto, ignoring her screaming lungs and protesting stomach.

Her vision began to shrink, like she was looking down a tunnel, being driven further and further down into it…

Her eyes closed, and she died.

And then, she was dust.

**-THE END-**


End file.
